Everywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
cause summers here and the time is right for fighting in the street, boy
but what can a poor boy do? Except to sing for a rock 'n roll band

cause in sleepy Cape Town
There’s just no place for a street fighting man…

The Rolling Stones

I saw a giant poster this month that said “Rethink the Shark”. I agree, we should, but before we do that, how about we rethink the surfer first? If you thought the only place you were going to have to deal with agro, flying fists, and swearwords, was is in a scrum, think again. Oh and head butting does not only happen during the World Cup, no way, its happening every day, and, at a break near you…

I went out to the beaches, sent e-mails, phoned friends in various parts of the country and asked a whole heap of questions to find out if bad behavior in the backline was on the rise, or fall. And sadly to say, it seems that it is just as it’s always been. Now I am not even going to go into the racism aspect that many, many people have experienced, because that is another kettle of piranha all together.

Here is what one of the guys had to say though “I can also tell you that I’ve heard remarks passed in the water that weren't meant to be heard by any one else, remarks about both colored and white surfers alike. Basically, when it comes to racism, the wave breaks both left and right.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself, but it sickens me that this kind of crap is still going on out there. I thought that we surfers were evolved enough to focus on surfing, and being able to portray a seriously easy going lifestyle, apparently not. And for all those dickheads who can’t see past the color of our wetsuits, (which for the most part, are black) its time to wake up. The year is 2007, not 1807.

Name Calling, Hair Pulling and other Kindergarten Antics…

So let's move on to the name calling, hair pulling, and other kindergarten antics that seems to be the order of the day in the water. I asked a couple of my friends who live and surf in Durban what they thought of the breaks down here in the Cape, and more importantly what they thought of the surfers. Well the general consensus on that issue, is that we have killer breaks here in the Cape, but the local attitude leaves a lot to be desired. One guy even said that he had seen better behavior in the Mosh pit at an Anthrax concert!

Doug, a long time surfer of nearly every break this country has to offer, had the following to say…

“I am always surprised by the level of aggression you encounter in the Cape, not to say that you won’t find it anywhere else mind you, but for some reason the okes tend to be a little more uptight for some reason. I don’t know why, maybe it’s all the wine farms you have, or the ouens don’t get laid enough or something. But what ever it is, there is a definite hostile vibe in some spots. Some breaks are definitely more volatile than others.

I mean, take this for example, I was out with my son at Muizenberg of all places and some toppie starts swearing at my kid because he didn’t get out of the way quick enough. Here is this oke, who must have been at least thirty, vloeking at my twelve year old son. By the time I knew what was happening and went to sort it out, the oke had left the water. All that testosterone man, it’s so completely unnecessary…”

Monkey Sea Monkey Do…

Now in my opinion, that is just not cool. Remember that all the younger guys will mimic what they perceive to be the accepted behavior by the elder statesmen of the surfing world, monkey see, monkey do. And if everyone is just venting spleen out there, then the only thing that will happen is, that will be the only thing happening. A viscous circle of completely unnecessary bulls%*t, man its hard enough to get a decent wave these days anyway, what with all the body boarders, knee surfers and the like.

But on the flipside, I spoke to a friend who had recently returned from Natal, and he said that the Durban guys are just as anal as the Capetonians.

Once they know where you come from, they just shut up and avoid you completely. No eye contact and no waves, he would usually just paddle off on his own and surf what ever he could get.

“The warming sun returns again
And melts away the snow
The Sea is freed from icy chains
winter is letting go.

Odin! Guide our ships
our axes, spears and swords
Guide us through storms that whip
and in brutal war”

Amon Amarth

“Its like going out to battle some day’s man, I kid you not. It’s like full on bloody war out there…” this coming from a local K-bay surfer who has seen many a punch thrown and some one getting a broken nose for his troubles as recently as last month.

Another K-bay local sent me the following exert by e- mail.

“Sadly bad behavior far outstrips the good in the water these days - In my mind one experience stands out that encapsulated both:

We were surfing Kalk Bay a few months back and one particular individual Mr. Pink has a knack for ruining a session by his mere presence. (Names replaced, but you know who you are)

Mr. Orange, one of the younger crew, had priority and took off deep on Mr. Pink’s inside. Mr. Pink, despite the fact that he was a body boarder and has only been surfing for a few years, seems to think he owns the ocean.

(To clarify this I have a standing joke about him that goes something like this. Mr. Pink’s children may only sit on his left at the dinner table, because nobody sits on his inside...)

Let's just say he didn't take kindly to Mr. Orange’s superior skills and paddled over to him and started giving him shit...

"Hey Bru, how old are you?" he tunes Mr. Orange.

I can see he knows how this is going to go down and he meekly responded:

"Not as old as you man..."

Mr. Pink then spat a string of expletives and proceeded to lament the lack of respect in younger surfers nowadays, and threatened to take action if Mr. Orange repeated his previous performance.

There's nothing like sweet justice and seeing somebody put in his place, in this case I'm talking about Pink specifically.

Within the group was one of the older Cape Town locals, Mr. Blonde, well-known and much respected for his big wave skills and positive attitude.

He casually defended Orange by asking Pink: "Hey Pink! How old are YOU?"

Talking your Face Off at Dawn

So as you can see, it’s not just the visitors who experience this kind of nonsense but regular locals as well. I think what we should do, is let our surfing do the talking, instead of facing off with our handbags at dawn…

“There does seem to be a lot of attitude at certain breaks from locals when in actual fact the waves are so shit you don’t know what all the fuss is about. The worst is that the guys giving you lip can’t even surf.”

Like most of our Grandparents always said, if you don’t have anything nice to say, then rather not say it. But what can we do to stop the rot that is creeping into our sport? And believe you me its not just here in SA. I have exchanged mails with guys as far a field as California and New Zealand.

It is happening all over, and like I said, what can we do?

Well we, actually starts with I, so what can I do about it? Ask yourself honestly, what are you like out in the water? If the answer is a “dick” then you are ninety percent going to be like that on dry land, and, well, sorry for you, but you will more than likely be a dick till your dying day.

You should rather take up golf or something and leave the waves to people who just want to have a little fun. And remember this, don’t take it so seriously, it’s surfing, not a crash course in Brain Surgery.

A good piece of advice…

“I can talk about swearing, obscene gestures, looks that could kill, and of course the all encompassing death threats. I'm not a confrontational type of person and as a result I tend to be very mellow. I don't often go beyond the occasional "Hey man, check your inside next time" usually followed up with "No worries hey, there's plenty more". I try not to be in the wrong but make no mistake, it happens. I always find that an apology usually sorts the situation out quickly and quietly. No death threats necessary.”

That is a good piece of advice, and if we all try to do that then it will definitely propagate a change in the mindset of others, and like I said, there is always golf…

Goose stepping to Boney-M in the New Year

So it is a New Year, the parties are over and it is back to work for the most of us. Christmas is come and gone and praise be that we don’t have to hear Boney-M for at least a couple of months.

I think we have more pressing issues ahead of us though, rather than trying to be the man out there, we should treat each other with respect and tolerance and try and teach those who do something wrong what to do in the future rather than snapping straight in to kill mode, and putting the entire back line on Defcon 5.

So stop goose stepping around the beach, swap your jack boots for some flip-flops, and replace your helmet with a hoodie. There is no space at the inn for Nazi’s, now or forever.

“I can't believe that we would
lie in our graves
wondering if we had
spent our living days well.

I can't believe that we would
lie in our graves
dreaming of things that we
might have been”

Dave Matthews Band

If you feel you have any suggestions on what can be done, or any experiences you would like to share, please feel free to leave a comment below. Enjoy the water while summer is still here and before I forget, don’t forget to rethink the shark and ourselves.

A. Cunningham (Doctor Bill.A.QuickLizzard)

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